Kidnap my heart.

Pain

Sunday, December 06, 20092:53 PM

Mood Today: Sian
I got transferred to the same ward as Hazwan & Nadiah.
Finally,i am reunited with my bestie Hazwan.
Now Ward ** will see a rise in RMS now that we are together.
Hoho...
Sadly,the cubicle that i'm in-charge doesn't have good kakis.
My patient is guys.
My precepter is guy.
My SN is guy.
My EN is guy.
My NC is guy.
All the important people i have to angkat bodek is guy.
No chemistry AT ALL!
But my preceptor HANDSOME habis...tk boleh anngkat!

My body pun dah start ngada2...
Since dah start work,ade jer sakit sini,sakit sane...
Kepale pening lah...
Temperature naik turun mcm roller coaster lah...
And...i have MUMPS!
PAIN LIKE HELL!
Now my head can't move left or right...just straight.

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Working Life Coming

Friday, November 13, 20094:27 PM

Mood Today: Composed

Elu,everybody!
I woke up to a wonderful weather today.
It has been raining cats & dogs since morning & amaaazinnngly,there's no thunder!
1 thing that i am afraid of is thunder & lightning.
It's so SHINGZ.
Except for the occasional flashes of lightning & the threatening sound of thunder,i simply love it when it rains.
I don't mind going out at all!

I'm starting work in 2 more days.
I'm quite excited but at the same time,i'm pretty nervous.
I have almost forgotten all my nursing skills & i'm pretty worried about that.
I'm also having jitters about my future colleagues as well.
Will they be like the people in NUH?
I hope not.
NUH made me lose confidence in being a nurse.
The people working there is so mean when i was a student.

Well,other than that,nothing much really to blog about.
Thought i upload some memorable pictures.

I still miss times when i was on the road.
These were taken in school before i was posted to Central Fire Station.

This was at Bottle Tree Park with Ireman.
I don't know why they put the tiger there because i don't see any other animals around accompanying it.
It was kinda of lonely so i took a picture with it.

Cute tak?

Fish Spa with Ireman.
I don't like it AT ALL.
I whine throughout the whole thing.
Ecky slimy fishy stuck between your toes...
But boy,does your feet looks clean after that.

(Top)
Aku tak ambik plak yang dier pkai mask & time F1.

OMG,Nicholas is sooo hot!!!
Hahah,happy nye aku dapat ambik gambar ngan dier during my Nursing Graduation Ceremony.
AWWW,he's my hot paramedic...
XblushX

Haiz...
You guys have no idea how much i love this boy.
But he is so so so naughty.
I wish he understands what he does brings nothing but worry to us.
He was arrested again last Friday.
I was the one who told the police where he was hiding.

It breaks my heart to betray my own brother but i know he can't run forever & that THIS is what is best for him.

Partly,it was my fault too.

He just got released tak sampai 1 bulan, dah kena arrested lagy.

He has no idea that we all loved him so much & whatever we advise him is not because
we are looking down on him.
Why is it so wrong for you to accept that you are wrong?
I miss you...

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Life Still Goes

Tuesday, November 03, 20095:17 PM

Mood today?
Hmmm...super bored!
That's why i'm here at my cuzzin's house to hang around.
Alot of things has been happening in my life recently.
Not many good things.
Mostly obstacles that are really good at making me feel down.

First of all,i quit my course in Paramedic & Emergency Care.
I don't want to but circumstances in my life brought me to that decision.
I really love being inside the ambulance, being on the go everytime that particular alarm sound at the station but like i said,there were afew setbacks that require me to make a choice & the sad thing was that this time,i can't have the best of both.
Do i regret quiting?
Hell,yea!
But like i said,i have to choose & with heavy heart,i've decided to leave the course.

Everybody was understanding.
They left me alone to my thoughts.
That's what i wanted.
To quit & to be left alone.
There were some occasional sms of shock & despair but i just cook up a happy face.
But now,i'm hired as an Enrolled Nurse at SGH.
To go back to paramedic will be a long journey for me now.
But i'm still not going to give up that dream of wearing that smart dark blue uniform,sitting on the front seat in that red & white alpha...

Secondly,i need to find a place to stay for myself or else life is going to get really bad.
It's getting super unbearable now.
I can't live on rental anymore.
Anger,sadness,disappointment & anguish is all there is.
It's not my house.
I want my own territory to mark & my own toys to play.
Now that i'm working,i'm gonna work to make that a reality.
I will scrimp & save,make trips to HDB & write a pity letter to every MP i can find as long as i can get a permanent roof under my head.

That,everybody is the major problem in my life right now.
It's supposed to be my parent's responsibility to make sure that happen but eversince my mum married that good-for-nothing faggot,she has been a constant disappointment.
Homeless now,i have to be independant.

Thirdly,I have been a very naughty girl recently.
I don't really want to.
It's uncontrollable.
I'm sorry Dardar but i really want to listen to you.

I really hope i won't hurt him anymore.
I know i always make him stress.
Not updating him with my whereabouts,talking back to him,disrespecting him,making him worry about me all the time...
But i just want to tell the whole world that i love Muhamad Ireman VERY MUCH!
He is the best thing that has happened to me since i passed my PSLE (which is like so many years back)!
Heh heh...

"There's alot of things that i never told you. I always wanted to but i find myself keeping it to myself. Sometimes i don't think you understand or know me but then i realized that it's because i never told you things. Not that i don't trust you, but it's because my heart is not willing. You open my heart & make me love you but i still find difficulty telling you the world about myself. I'm afraid you won't listen. I hide alot of my sadness, my despair, my TRUE feelings from you. Sometimes i don't answer you truthfully because i do not want you to worry. I want to lie down beside you & pour to you the contents of my hurting heart but all i can do now is keep what is hurting me inside my poor heart. Until then, i can never be happy..."

Sometimes i look at a person's life to see if he or she deserved something that has befall on him.
But there's nothing.
Fate just walked in & say,"I will not let you be happy. I will not let you have children. I will take your ability to walk. I will not let you live another day."

By the way...
My birthday is in 2 more days.
I'll be 20 years old.
Happy Birthday to me :)

LAST BUT NOT LEAST!!!
BIG ANNOUNCEMENT...PLS TAKE NOTE I'VE CHANGED MY EMAIL ADDRESS!!!
PLS UPDATE!!!
IRENADIA@HOTMAIL.COM

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Missing my B

Thursday, July 30, 20095:52 PM

Status: Sick & Tired

Hey there,i was thinking of keeping a diary but i don't think i would have the self-control to faithfully record down my antics on a bunch of scrap paper like what my 19 year old cousin is doing every night.
So i guess i'll just stick to expressing my thoughts in my blog then.

Haiz,i missed my Hubby very much.
He's having his reservice in Jurong camp & i haven't met him since last Friday.
I'm going crazy from thinking of his welfare in camp.
I don't think they feed him enough there.
Yesterday,when he called me,he sounded so tired.
Usually,he would be the chatty one over the phone & i would be the one half-doozing.
I think i must write a letter of complain to the Ministry Of Defence.
Yes,a STERN letter to Mr Teo Chee Hean about my darling's condition would be a self-deserved thing.

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Hey Ya All!

Wednesday, July 15, 20097:14 PM

Hi,everyone!
I'm currently on ambulance attachment at Central Fire Station.
First of all,i must say that it's very thrilling & exciting but most of the time it's a waiting game for me because i don't have any paperwork or whatever things the Paramedics & Medics are required to do.
My mentor is absolutely knowledgeable but still,in a male dominated environment,i still feel awfully awkward especially when they start talking dirty in their own male dialect & comparing about us,the feline species infront of me.
But what can i say,boys will be boys.
So far,i haven't seen any case that has really put me off.
Blood is a norm already i guess for me.
Yesterday was my night shift & i sit infront with the driver in the ambulance for the 1st time.
It was such an honour because that seat belongs to the Paramedic & eventhough i've already begun taking simple cases,i have always sat at the back with the Medic.

Next,i want to talk about my boyfriend.
I know i have been a total pain in the toot from i think the moment we were a couple.
I admit that i have some very very very serious issues with my crankiness.
Eventhough i tried (though not really seriously put in much effort) to change,i will always end up being a horrible gf.
And in the end,who is at the receiving end?
My darling Ireman.
I just wanted to say that my bf deserves a million credits for being so patient to me & also being ever so forgiving to me.
I've never met such a understanding guy who loves me regardlessly of all the hurtful things i've said & done to him.
8 months...he has stuck with my tantrums & crankiness which weirdly is always EVERY SINGLE END OF THE WK & also share & help me with my personal problems.
I loveee my B sooo muccch!
Nobody is in my heart except for you!
Thank you so much for being my purrrfect guy.
I promise to you that THIS TIME,i will most certainly,absoulutely,without a doubt that i will listen to you & try to fulfill all the promises that i've written in our promise book kay?

Now,time for some pics.
Huda asked me along for a uber cool photoshoot which was FOC.
Inclusive of hairdo & makeup by the professionals.

We get to bring home 20 pics but i'll just upload afew here.

Lazy.

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